WHAT A GREAT SHOW SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!

I watched LOST on vhs. It was awesome! I think that preggers is gonna die. I want full report on tipsy between OTHER bands.....

I'm gonna have a T.V. party tonight!

Dood, I'm watching tapes of "thirtysomething" ALL NIGHT LONG! Elliot Rules! It was so sad when he had that nervous breakdown and had to leave the agency. Anyway record sales are way up this month. We sold 3 copies of INTO THE UNKNOWN! Since we only pressed 5 that means it's almost sold out. Up next is a comp cd spanning like 25 years of RI rock. It's called "I Am Hate Rhode Island". Yeah dood! I rule! OK I have do go draw the cover for that comp that only LIAM will want. And no you can't just come by and get it. More on this next week.

Don't forget to go see BENNYSIZZLER and company at the living room on saturday. My mom is in town again so I can't go. This is especially funny since my mom never calls me and has visited me twice in the last five years. (just in case you didn't get why that was funny).

And to answer the flood of BLOB HAMMOCK questions, they broke up. I don't know why. You would think that they would go on forever. Evidently I can't keep a joke going for more than a week.

AWESOME RECORDS #1

Our first release is a little album called "INTO THE UNKNOWN" by uhh.... Brad Religion. This record is so awesome that you need you buy it. The price is $3 ppd. "Brad Religion" still denies ever recording it so you know it's good. I accept paypal.

Don't get caught with your pants down. Order your Cdr today! More to come soon!

SOMEONE must be wicked on their period.

Yeah I get it. You posted something on all the recent posts and made rude comments. "Your face is shit" or "your lyrics are shit". whatever. If that is all you can come up with I feel sorry for you. And the fact that you post anonymous doesn't mean I don't know just who you are. I mean duh, you used the same "tampons are up there" joke that you bring out at all social gatherings! No one cares if you used to be in HEART. Not around here. You are for shit and I hope you drown in a pool of animal fat. Unless you drink all the fat and that is the only way you can get out of the pool. By the way HEART lyrics sucked too.

Ex-Heart Rocker Wilson Slams The BLOB

Seen here in a riverside KoC hall performing with her new band "Cotton Pony Overdrive".



What does Ann Wilson have against the BLOB? Who knows?

Big Rock Show Last Night.

That's right! BLOB HAMMOCK finally played out last night. They were really amazing. After the show I snapped this pic while they were drinking in the alley.
No one would share their garden burgers with me so I went home.

BLOB HAMMOCK lyrics leaked!

Wicked Absorbant!
by Blob Hammock

We are wicked absorbant
we'll soak up all you got
it's like you just shoved spongebob
down the front of your coulottes.

WICKED!
ABSORBANT!
WICKED!
PORTABLE!

We'll stop the red invasion
just call us "wolverines"
but if you put us on wrong
we'll stick right to your jeans!

WICKED!
ABSORBANT!
WICKED!
FUN!

BLOB T-Shirts outselling Benny by a 3 to 1 margin!

get yours now!

BLOB HAMMOCK RECORDS RADIO-FRIENDLY SINGLE

Final touches being put on hit single "wicked absorbent".

NEW SUPERGROUP!!!!

New Shirt design!!

let me know what you think. Send all cash to me.

Dood

some super hot chick walked up to me and said HI and then walked away in a hurry. I heard her say to her friend "he has a ring". That means I'm so hott that they were all like "that guy is hott. you should talk to him. No way he is wayyy to hott for me."

And the gail clone is more like the ani-gail. Dude smokes and drinks in the middle of songs! That is radd! If he was a clone he'd be nibbling on munchos between songs instead.

So here is a recap of the show. Band was good. I was HOTT. Crowd seemed into it. I bet if there was a "merch table" they would have made more money than jesus. BTW I have a new t-shirt design. I'll post it later....

BENNY SIZZLER IS PLAYING TOO MANY SHOWS!!!

Thursday, Feb 3rd, Great Scott, Allston, MA w/ the Slaves, Rattle Battle, Sasquatch and the Sickabillys
Saturday, Feb 5th, Jakes, Providence w/ Katie Lee Hooker
Saturday, Feb 26, Living Room, Providence w/ Midnight Creeps, TV Smith (Adverts), Sasquatch and the Sick-A-Billys, The Sleazies, Red Invasion


I mean really. Who is supposed to yell "todd has a cd" at all these shows? Not me. I'll be at jakes though. I'm thinking of yelling "Todd has a DIVX VCD" but I don't know if jakes is that kind of crowd. Rumor has it that before the show Motormike will be at the bar and if you buy him a beer he will talk to you at lenth about his "HOTTIE WAITRESS" blog. This is it if you want to take a peek.... www.hottieprovidencebarmaids.blogspot.com . Ok see you then.

So how was the show?

Will someone please give me a clue as to how the show went? I hear rumors of infighting over on the sizz guestbook..... Was this caused by something that went on at the show? How did mr fill-in do on guitar? Seriously i want to know. My mom just left town so I want an update. All we did was watch Gilmore Girls all weekend. The mom is cute but so is the daughter......... hmmmmm......

SHOW TONIGHT!

Yeah. Big whoopdee. My mom is in town so I can't go. But everone else have a good time. And btw, this ain't no "street team". Do people even flyer shows anymore? Gotta go my mom just showed up. Gilmore girls and meatloaf here I come.......

INTERVIEW WITH ROCKTHIRSTY BITCH.

Sothis interview was conducted via e-mail. I sent the questions out to one of the frontrunners for the open guitar position. His name is Dan. Here we go.

Me: So what makes you want to join bennysizzler?

Dan: Well I just got the boot from my band and was looking for something new to do.

Me: You do know they do a lot of drop d tuning stuff right?

Dan: Well i'm not sure about that but they do seem to spend alot of time tuning their guitars in the middle of the set so I guess so.

Me: Wow that's so funny. This is a great interview. I hear you want to call the first benny record "A Rainbow to Ride on". What's in a name?

Dan: Actually it's "A Rainbow to Rock on". Rainbows are magic and they make people smile. that's what I want to do. Make people smile.

Me: Scary. If this band signs, can you hang?

Dan: Come again?

Me: So do you have any words for the competition?

Dan: OK. I rule. I have the chops, the looks, the hot riffs, and the right attitude. I can practice up to three times a month and have all my own equipment.

Me: Thanks. I have no opinion on this subject.

BLOB HAMMOCK!

I hear this name is being thrown around for the new supergroup.

Big Interview with Motormike!

Yes that's right. Me, the BSFCP has conducted a series of one-on-one interviews with all the members of our fav local band. That's right GRANDMAS PAJAMAS! But for the purposes of this space I will give you the interview with MOTORMIKE! and here it is.

BSFCP: So, how are you?

MM: Sleepy. Are we done yet?

BSFCP: Just a few more questions. What's up with the lineup change? anything juicy to tell?

MM: Not really. Chil was writing all these songs about driving past the Stop and Shop and then Terry showed up with some songs that were all about walking past the Stop and Shop.

BSFCP: Wow that's fucked up. I'm surprised you guys are still friends.

MM: OK.

BSFCP: thanks for your time Motormike. Do you have anything you'd like to say to the fan club members?

MM: Yeah. I'm jealous of all the attention Gail gets and if people don't start writing about me I'm quitting. For good this time.

BSFCP: Speaking of Gail, I will be putting up parts of my interview with her over the next few days. You should check it out. She's hilarious!

MM: No thanks. See you on the 21st.

BSFCP: I cant go. My mom's in town.

Pats Win.

I remain unimpressed with current pats win streak. Untill they beat my "blades of steel" 27 game unbeaten streak I don't give a poop. There is no new benny news execpt to say that There is inside info that the fill-in guitar player sang backing vocals in a certain local bands Weird Al-style christmas tune "Police Navidad". GOd help us all if this turns out to be true. Eat shit non-believers.

The Rumor Mill grinds out another nugget!

Seems our old pal Chil has benny practicing up to three times each month! Is this in preparation for something? Is benny just looking for something to do on friday nights? Wll Motormike "hook up" with the bartender and post full details on his blog? Now I don't have any inside information but the guitar position seems to be down to the aforementioned infighting jealous axe weilders and a yet-to-be-named mystery date with all kinds of his own equipment. Newpaper gives benny cd glowing review. I didn't even know there was a benny cd. Review centers around Gail's time in seattle and has little critique on drum solos and whatnot.

TERRY IS OUT. Bitches clamour for prized position.

Still no reason known for sudden exit. Rockthirsy bitches aren't waiting for the body to cool before lining up for auditions. My sources tell me that the coveted job could go to a member of Neutral Nation. Remember them? They sounded just like stukas over bedrock. Also in the running is a recently ex-member of Ellison. Jealosy and in-fighting are in the cards for those two that's for sure.

Big Bennysizzler news!

Yeah that's right is seems like someone in the band has decided to call it quits. Complete info is not yet available but my sources say that either the drummer "MIKE" or the guitar player "TERRY" will leave the band soon if they haven't already. What does this mean for the upcoming show on the 21st? Well if it's the drummer they are screwed. Drummers are not a dime a dozen anymore. Either way let's hope the exit is not a result of furious in-fighting. As my friend who likes star wars likes to say "Let Qui-gons be by-gons". I have no idea what he's talking about.